Have you ever prayed or asked the Heavenly Father for help to do something or guidance, and then throughout that day things happen, things or said to help you. Well that happened to me last night. I asked Abba-Father for help to quit something, and on my way to pick up my husband from work, this truck sped up to get in front of me, at first I was like come on are you serious, but then as I was looking at back of his window, this scripture was on it. "Romans 12:21. Be not overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good."-KJV. I was like wow, I know I know but I didn't adhere, because I was still trying to make excuses and justify what I was doing, which was buying some cigarettes, and that smoking isn't really considered evil in God's eyes and I came to a point that I would no longer use cigarettes as my idol or outlet, I just wanted to do it because I liked smoking.
Man well let me tell ya, today I got a sickening awakening, literally. Today I was telling myself that it would be my last day smoking at least for the month because my husband is getting some time off work, he doesn't like me smoking or the smell and I wanted to be considerate of his feelings. So my silly behind, before leaving, to pick up my mom, smoked two cigarettes instead of one because my thought was why wait till he gets off work, why not just quit now. I started to feel so sick as I smoked that second cigarette that I couldn't even finish. Driving to the trash I was like I forget cigarettes did this to me had this affect on me, and after throwing them away, I started vomiting. And I was like man, I can't do this, I don't want to do this, etc. While getting situated back inside the car, the Holy Spirit brought this scripture to my remembrance. "James 4:17. Therefore to him that knoweth to do good and doeth [it] not, to him it is sin."-KJV. And I was astounded, floored, like duh flabbergasted and so many other words that I'm unable to think of right now to describe how I felt. I was like I totally forget about that scripture. After that, while driving the sickness started to dissipate, the taste and craving of wanting one came back, and my mind started at it again but this time I began to repeat that scripture, I begin to pray and praise God, and in time my mind stopped, the battle won.
At times I get so frustrated with myself that I'm not able to remember scriptures like I want to or when I think that I need them. But today, Abba reminded me that His word is in me, and that in the times when He knows I truly need it and struggling, He will bring it to my mind and to my heart for me to use to battle strengthen and comfort myself with. Because when I do read His word, it's not lost and gone, just safely keep in storage for the appropriate time to be used for His purpose and will in my life, when He knows I'm ready, for me to do and be all and everything HE wants me to do and be.
Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.
Friday, December 7, 2012
Monday, December 3, 2012
Specifically Called and Willing
I don't know about you but there are a few books, chapters, and spots in the Bible that I dread to read, (however I was told if I just research the Hebraic meanings and everything I would understand why it is so, like their names and all that. Not there though, but I do keep that advice with me), like Leviticus, Numbers, and then a few chapters in Exodus. But it is in those chapters of Exodus that inspire me to write this today.
In Exodus 25-31 God gives Moses specific instructions on how to build The Tent of Meeting, what it is to look like, size, width, what's to be in it, the clothing for the priests etc. And then again in Exodus 35-40 it goes into exact detail again but this time it is regarding the making of it. So a quick break down in 35:10-20-22, the items needed were given by those who were willing and whose hearts moved them to. Then in 35:30-33 God chose Bezalel and filled him with the Ruach Elohim (the Spirit of God), making him high skilled, resourceful, and knowledgeable in all trades to do what needed to be done, and in 35:34 made Oholiab his assistant you can say the ability to teach others to do what needed to be done. And them along with every other craftsman God gave the necessary skill and talent to help as well.
Now this can also be tied into 1 Corinthians 12 regarding spiritual gifts.God has something for each of us to do, he has filled us and gifted us with various talents, skills, and gifts. Some may be the same and some may not. Some may be greater at it than others and some may not be. But the important thing is is that together we can do and accomplish all things God wants us to do. However it does require each of us to put our pride away, our greed, our selfishness, our shyness, our ignorance, and anything else that would hinder ourselves from doing God's work and being part of it. The question is are you willing to do what God wants and asks you to do with the specific gift, talent, and skill he has given to you, as well as aide others that God is using and has given them something to do as well where/when you can help. Because when you do, you're always in the most important spotlight of all. His.
Peace
In Exodus 25-31 God gives Moses specific instructions on how to build The Tent of Meeting, what it is to look like, size, width, what's to be in it, the clothing for the priests etc. And then again in Exodus 35-40 it goes into exact detail again but this time it is regarding the making of it. So a quick break down in 35:10-20-22, the items needed were given by those who were willing and whose hearts moved them to. Then in 35:30-33 God chose Bezalel and filled him with the Ruach Elohim (the Spirit of God), making him high skilled, resourceful, and knowledgeable in all trades to do what needed to be done, and in 35:34 made Oholiab his assistant you can say the ability to teach others to do what needed to be done. And them along with every other craftsman God gave the necessary skill and talent to help as well.
Now this can also be tied into 1 Corinthians 12 regarding spiritual gifts.God has something for each of us to do, he has filled us and gifted us with various talents, skills, and gifts. Some may be the same and some may not. Some may be greater at it than others and some may not be. But the important thing is is that together we can do and accomplish all things God wants us to do. However it does require each of us to put our pride away, our greed, our selfishness, our shyness, our ignorance, and anything else that would hinder ourselves from doing God's work and being part of it. The question is are you willing to do what God wants and asks you to do with the specific gift, talent, and skill he has given to you, as well as aide others that God is using and has given them something to do as well where/when you can help. Because when you do, you're always in the most important spotlight of all. His.
Peace
Sunday, December 2, 2012
My Golden Calf
I find myself questioning my faith, my belief, my choices, and my decisions. I know some people say that that is just the devil messing with me but to me honest, if I was firm in this there wouldn't be anything for him to use to mess me with. So in honesty it's me.
I know I am not firm and consistent in this faith I claim to believe and share. I don't put Abba Yahweh (Father God) like I should, as he wants and requires of us. When trouble arises I don't run to him or his word, I run to my own devices and vices. Recently when my husband and I had our first argument, trial, trouble in our marriage, I didn't go to God, I ran back to cigarettes. Yes I thought about him, prayed, and read the Word later, but he wasn't my first thought, my first stress reliever, my first sorrow quencher, my fire extinguisher for my anger and my pain. Then I think back to when I first came to Yah, the zeal I had for him, to want to know him, search him, and seek him, and I realize my worship, my heart, and my desire is not even close to what it was then. And then so many other things about my childhood finally coming to light, the truth, and I begin to question him. And now I find myself thinking, do I really want to do this? What's the point? It's too hard. I can't always feel him and believe that he's always here with me, and that's what I want, what I need, because I know I'm weak, and will sway at the slightest wind of despair, loneliness, trouble, doubt, and fear.
This morning I was reading Exodus 29-31, and this is the point where El has already delivered the Israelites out of Egypt and there at Mount Sinai, Moses has went up to the mountain to receive the laws, commandments, and judgments from God. He was up there for 40 days and 40 nights, and the people were left alone, without their direct connect to God. Now in Exodus 32 when he began to be gone for a long time, the people went to Aaron and told him to make them a golden calf to be their god. "Exodus 32: When the people saw that Moses delayed coming down from the mountain, they gathered around Aaron. They said to him, "We don't know what has happened to this Moses, who led us out of Egypt. Make gods who will lead us."-The Names of God Bible. And that made me think about myself. When I don't feel God's presence with me, I began to believe and doubt if he is there anymore. And even that he left me. So I begin to think and devise other ways to please me, do my own thing, and work things, out.
But the thing that the Israelites and I didn't do and let that be our nails planted to the ground is remember everything El has done for us, what he taught and showed us, what he promised us. We didn't stand firm in the faith, in the belief, we swayed, doubted, we became impatient. We didn't trust.
So I'm realizing that God isn't the problem, who am to question him. What I need to do is question myself, go back to him, not think about how I can fix things and make them better but how he can. To seek him first, and remember everything that he has done for me. Because at times when I feel like he isn't there, he still is but just waiting on me to seek him. Like my son, we may be in the same place but if I go to a different room, he may stop playing and come seek me out to make sure I was still around, still close. So that is what I must do. That is something we all must do, when we feel like our direct connection to him is gone instead of making our own golden calf, we should and are to seek him out ourselves, because when we do, we will find him.
Here is a scripture that I found to be encouraging and helpful, when Moses tells El that he wants to see his face, but he is unable to because he would die, so instead El passes over him in the form of a cloud. "Exodus 34:6. Then Yahweh passed in front of Moses, calling out, "Yahweh, Yahweh, a compassionate and merciful El, patient, always faithful and ready to forgive. 7. He continues to show his love to thousands of generations, forgiving wrongdoing, disobedience, and sin. He never lets the guilty go unpunished, punishing children and grandchildren for their parents' sins to the third and fourth generation."-The Names of God Bible. And then Moses immediately responds with this which is so true, especially for me. "Exodus 34:8. Immediately, Moses knelt, bowing with his face touching the ground. 9. Then he said, "Adonay, please go with us! Even though we are impossible to deal with, forgive our sins and the wrong we have done, and accept us as your own people."-The Names of God Bible
I am an impossible person to deal with, and I've done so many wrongs, and I just want to be accepted and learning that not to be accepted by other people but by El because that is what matters. And that he is patient, he is compassionate, merciful, he loves me and always ready to forgive me for my sin, wrongdoing, and disobedience, when all I have to do is seek him out. Because he's there, waiting patiently for me to come to him.
I know I am not firm and consistent in this faith I claim to believe and share. I don't put Abba Yahweh (Father God) like I should, as he wants and requires of us. When trouble arises I don't run to him or his word, I run to my own devices and vices. Recently when my husband and I had our first argument, trial, trouble in our marriage, I didn't go to God, I ran back to cigarettes. Yes I thought about him, prayed, and read the Word later, but he wasn't my first thought, my first stress reliever, my first sorrow quencher, my fire extinguisher for my anger and my pain. Then I think back to when I first came to Yah, the zeal I had for him, to want to know him, search him, and seek him, and I realize my worship, my heart, and my desire is not even close to what it was then. And then so many other things about my childhood finally coming to light, the truth, and I begin to question him. And now I find myself thinking, do I really want to do this? What's the point? It's too hard. I can't always feel him and believe that he's always here with me, and that's what I want, what I need, because I know I'm weak, and will sway at the slightest wind of despair, loneliness, trouble, doubt, and fear.
This morning I was reading Exodus 29-31, and this is the point where El has already delivered the Israelites out of Egypt and there at Mount Sinai, Moses has went up to the mountain to receive the laws, commandments, and judgments from God. He was up there for 40 days and 40 nights, and the people were left alone, without their direct connect to God. Now in Exodus 32 when he began to be gone for a long time, the people went to Aaron and told him to make them a golden calf to be their god. "Exodus 32: When the people saw that Moses delayed coming down from the mountain, they gathered around Aaron. They said to him, "We don't know what has happened to this Moses, who led us out of Egypt. Make gods who will lead us."-The Names of God Bible. And that made me think about myself. When I don't feel God's presence with me, I began to believe and doubt if he is there anymore. And even that he left me. So I begin to think and devise other ways to please me, do my own thing, and work things, out.
But the thing that the Israelites and I didn't do and let that be our nails planted to the ground is remember everything El has done for us, what he taught and showed us, what he promised us. We didn't stand firm in the faith, in the belief, we swayed, doubted, we became impatient. We didn't trust.
So I'm realizing that God isn't the problem, who am to question him. What I need to do is question myself, go back to him, not think about how I can fix things and make them better but how he can. To seek him first, and remember everything that he has done for me. Because at times when I feel like he isn't there, he still is but just waiting on me to seek him. Like my son, we may be in the same place but if I go to a different room, he may stop playing and come seek me out to make sure I was still around, still close. So that is what I must do. That is something we all must do, when we feel like our direct connection to him is gone instead of making our own golden calf, we should and are to seek him out ourselves, because when we do, we will find him.
Here is a scripture that I found to be encouraging and helpful, when Moses tells El that he wants to see his face, but he is unable to because he would die, so instead El passes over him in the form of a cloud. "Exodus 34:6. Then Yahweh passed in front of Moses, calling out, "Yahweh, Yahweh, a compassionate and merciful El, patient, always faithful and ready to forgive. 7. He continues to show his love to thousands of generations, forgiving wrongdoing, disobedience, and sin. He never lets the guilty go unpunished, punishing children and grandchildren for their parents' sins to the third and fourth generation."-The Names of God Bible. And then Moses immediately responds with this which is so true, especially for me. "Exodus 34:8. Immediately, Moses knelt, bowing with his face touching the ground. 9. Then he said, "Adonay, please go with us! Even though we are impossible to deal with, forgive our sins and the wrong we have done, and accept us as your own people."-The Names of God Bible
I am an impossible person to deal with, and I've done so many wrongs, and I just want to be accepted and learning that not to be accepted by other people but by El because that is what matters. And that he is patient, he is compassionate, merciful, he loves me and always ready to forgive me for my sin, wrongdoing, and disobedience, when all I have to do is seek him out. Because he's there, waiting patiently for me to come to him.
Friday, November 30, 2012
Reintroduction
I forgot I had a blog, so it's been two years since I've written something. So now going to try to get back in the swing of things. I'm not going to make any promises on when and often they will be, but I will do my best.
A lot of things have changed and happened since I first started this blog. I'm married now so my name is Angelica Stevenson or Angelica Grayer-Stevenson. I want to share my life experiences, lessons, mistakes, growths to help and encourage other. I'm still a believer so each day I'm given is a chance for me to strengthen my relationship with my our creator, the heavenly Father, though his son the Messiah Yeshua (commonly known as Jesus Christ). My hope that whatever I share can have an impact on your life. To encourage you, strengthen, help you grow, learn, in your own life and journey. So please take what you can use.
Thank you, God bless, Shabbat Shalom (Peaceful Sabbath), and Lord willing I'll be seeing you again soon.
A lot of things have changed and happened since I first started this blog. I'm married now so my name is Angelica Stevenson or Angelica Grayer-Stevenson. I want to share my life experiences, lessons, mistakes, growths to help and encourage other. I'm still a believer so each day I'm given is a chance for me to strengthen my relationship with my our creator, the heavenly Father, though his son the Messiah Yeshua (commonly known as Jesus Christ). My hope that whatever I share can have an impact on your life. To encourage you, strengthen, help you grow, learn, in your own life and journey. So please take what you can use.
Thank you, God bless, Shabbat Shalom (Peaceful Sabbath), and Lord willing I'll be seeing you again soon.
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