My Evil

Have you ever prayed or asked the Heavenly Father for help to do something or guidance, and then throughout that day things happen, things or said to help you. Well that happened to me last night. I asked Abba-Father for help to quit something, and on my way to pick up my husband from work, this truck sped up to get in front of me, at first I was like come on are you serious, but then as I was looking at back of his window, this scripture was on it. "Romans 12:21. Be not overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good."-KJV. I was like wow, I know I know but I didn't adhere, because I was still trying to make excuses and justify what I was doing, which was buying some cigarettes, and that smoking isn't really considered evil in God's eyes and I came to a point that I would no longer use cigarettes as my idol or outlet, I just wanted to do it because I liked smoking.

Man well let me tell ya, today I got a sickening awakening, literally. Today I was telling myself that it would be my last day smoking at least for the month because my husband is getting some time off work, he doesn't like me smoking or the smell and I wanted to be considerate of his feelings. So my silly behind, before leaving, to pick up my mom, smoked two cigarettes instead of one because my thought was why wait till he gets off work, why not just quit now. I started to feel so sick as I smoked that second cigarette that I couldn't even finish. Driving to the trash I was like I forget cigarettes did this to me had this affect on me, and after throwing them away, I started vomiting. And I was like man, I can't do this, I don't want to do this, etc. While getting situated back inside the car, the Holy Spirit brought this scripture to my remembrance. "James  4:17. Therefore to him that knoweth to do good and doeth [it] not, to him it is sin."-KJV. And I was astounded, floored, like duh flabbergasted and so many other words that I'm unable to think of right now to describe how I felt. I was like I totally forget about that scripture. After that, while driving the sickness started to dissipate, the taste and craving of wanting one came back, and my mind started at it again but this time I began to repeat that scripture, I begin to pray and praise God, and in time my mind stopped, the battle won.

At times I get so frustrated with myself that I'm not able to remember scriptures like I want to or when I think that I need them. But today, Abba reminded me that His word is in me, and that in the times when He knows I truly need it and struggling, He will bring it to my mind and to my heart for me to use to battle strengthen and comfort myself with. Because when I do read His word, it's not lost and gone, just safely keep in storage for the appropriate time to be used for His purpose and will in my life, when He knows I'm ready, for me to do and be all and everything HE wants me to do and be.

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.