You Don't Know My Praise

Well the weekend is here and time to go to church. With me being a preacher's daughter I was raised in the church. So I've seen how so many people get their praise and worship on. As a child I snickered and made fun but as I grew older, went through my own stuff, and our Father bringing me out, I understand. But the thing is, now I was afraid to get my praise and worship on. Especially since now I go to a church that's more reserved. However this all changed when a sister asked me to head Women's Prayer Group one day and I didn't know what to talk about. Well Daddy gave me something through a book called "Women of Courage 31 Daily Devotionals By Jennifer Carter" and in her book she picks out different women in the Bible and how we can relate to them today. Well while doing this, reading this I was able to apply one story to my own life when it comes to how I praise and worship and that is the story of Mary and when she used oil to anoint the Messiah. 

“Luke 7:36. And one of the Pharisees desired him that he would eat with him. And he went into the Pharisee's house, and sat down to meat. 37. And, behold, a woman in the city, which was a sinner, when she knew that [Jesus] sat at meat in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster box of ointment, 38. And stood at his feet behind [him] weeping, and began to wash his feet with tears, and did wipe [them] with the hairs of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed [them] with the ointment. 39. Now when the Pharisee which had bidden him saw [it], he spake within himself, saying, This man, if he were a prophet, would have known who and what manner of woman [this is] that toucheth him: for she is a sinner. 40. And Jesus answering said unto him, Simon, I have somewhat to say unto thee. And he saith, Master, say on. 41. There was a certain creditor which had two debtors: the one owed five hundred pence, and the other fifty. 42. And when they had nothing to pay, he frankly forgave them both. Tell me therefore, which of them will love him most? 43. Simon answered and said, I suppose that [he], to whom he forgave most. And he said unto him, Thou hast rightly judged. 44. And he turned to the woman, and said unto Simon, Seest thou this woman? I entered into thine house, thou gavest me no water for my feet: but she hath washed my feet with tears, and wiped [them] with the hairs of her head. 45. Thou gavest me no kiss: but this woman since the time I came in hath not ceased to kiss my feet. 46. My head with oil thou didst not anoint: but this woman hath anointed my feet with ointment. 47. Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, [the same] loveth little. 48. And he said unto her, Thy sins are forgiven.”

When I read this I was like wow. This women faced ridicule, lies, bad remarks and even death to praise and worship the Messiah, and get him ready for his death and burial in the only way she knew how and was able to do for him. The Messiah saved her from being stoned because she was accused of being caught in adultery and he asked those who wanted to stone her if any of them was without sin to cast the first stone. And guess what no stone was cast, John 8:11. And that was so profound, it hit me like a ton bricks. So when I shared this when it was my time they were like hey we didn't even think to look at that scripture that way. And man was I tested that weekend at church. The pastor started to sing "I Give Myself Away by William McDowell" and man that song just touches me and moves me every time. And I was timid man, that fear and queasiness in my stomach was going on and then I remembered the our Prayer Group that Tuesday before and my son, because he was with me and I was holding, and in my head I was thinking I was just talking about this and I don't want my son to be afraid to praise and worship, but most importantly I didn't want to scared to be scared anymore. I didn't want to be too afraid to praise and give thanks for everything the Lord has done for me and brought me through. So I got up with tears falling down my eyes, singing, with thanksgiving in my heart and got my praise on. And what was so cool about it, was that even my son got his praise and worship on too and it was so cool. 

So to all and even to myself I believe that we should be encouraged to praise and worship whenever and wherever we can when it is moved and put upon our hearts. Because nobody knows what we've been through truly whether mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, and spiritually, only our Father in Heaven knows and only He knows how much the life and blood of His son, His mercy, forgiveness, grace, second chance, and love that was shown and give to us through His son has touched and changed our lives, transformed us, and that is always something to be thankful for, to give praise, and worship the Lord for. 

WHO IS MY ENEMY?

“I am my own worst enemy.” Is the saying that runs through my mind as I’m lying in bed trying to fall asleep. But as I began to think more on this I realize this is a lie, I am not my own worst enemy. And then thinking that this quote is bondage and a trap that enslaves me. Because the word of God says that my enemy, my opponent is the devil.

1 Peter 5:8. Keep your mind clear, and be alert. Your opponent the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion as he looks for someone to devour. –The Names of God Bible, Ann Spangler
1 Peter 5:8. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:-KJV
Ephesians 6:12. This is not a wrestling match again a human opponent. We are wrestling with rulers, authorities, the powers who govern this world of darkness, and spiritual forces that control in the heavenly world. –The Names of God Bible, Ann Spangler.
Ephesians 6:12. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high [places].-KJV 

Definition of Opponent:

1.      A person who is on an opposing side in a game, contest, controversy, or the like; adversary

2.      Being opposite, as in position

3.      Opposing; adverse; antagonistic

So the word tells me that my opponent and my adversary are one and the same and that is the devil. But not myself. I am flesh and blood, the devil is not. I was born in the image of my Creator.


Genesis 1:26. And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. 27. So God created man in his [own] image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.-KJV
Genesis 1:26. Then Elohim said, "Let us make humans in our image, in our likeness. Let them rule the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, the domestic animals all over the earth, and all the animals that crawl on the earth. 27. So Elohim created humans in his image. In the image of Elohim he created them. He created them male and female.-The Names of God Bible, Ann Spangler

So thinking of this scripture I'm asking myself, if my Creator created me in His image, then is my Creator my enemy? If I am meant to be and can be more like and be able to be more like Him through His Son the Messiah and Savior Yeshua, commonly known as Jesus Christ then how can I be my own worst enemy? How can my Creator be my enemy? So many times I've said this to myself when I've failed, turned to my self-destructive ways to seek, kill, and destroy myself like an enemy does and is what the devil does, and is what I do to myself as well when I believe I'm my own worst enemy,when I've messed up, and hear it be said to me and on me that I began to believe it, and then when I do I began to lose, lose faith, lose hope and turn to my self-destructive ways because I don't think that I can and could never be who the Creator originally wanted me to be when He first created us and what's available now through His Son. To have that relationship with Him that Adam and Eve had before they disobeyed because of the enemy. 

But because of Yeshua I am able to be reconciled back to the Heavenly Father and have that relationship with him. But how can if I continue to see and believe myself to be and as my own worst enemy when my enemy is the devil. I've just realized that this quote is such a big contradiction to what I'm reading, learning, trying to live, and trying to believe-be living it. That this quote is not helping me at all but hindering me and keeping me away from my Father, keeping me separated from Him. Because if I continue to be, see, think, and believe that I'm my own enemy then I will be an enemy of and to God. He didn't make me or create me to be His enemy. He created me to please Him. Praise Him, worship Him, Obey Him, Glorify Him, and take care of the rest of His creation, land, plants, animals, family, friends, etc. But not to be an enemy to Him or to myself. So why would I, do I, want to,or even put that upon myself? Make myself carry that burden? Have that thought, that mind frame, that role?

Realizing this, I have to ask myself who truly is my enemy? And what steps can I do, must take, undo, and change to fix that, to rewire my thoughts. To know and understand that it is not myself that I’m wrestling against but the real enemy of God, the devil. Because he’s the one that’s the adversary and the opponent, in opposition of Him. And since I want to be more like my Creator, want to be called, seen, and act as a child of my Father, then the devil is my enemy too. And that is what I must fight, must pray against, and must stand on His word with, so that I don’t become an enemy of/to my Creator. And in doing that, I must no longer be an enemy to myself. Because I do what to do good, what is righteous and good in His eyes, and like Paul said I do war with myself. I don’t do the good I want to do but instead I do the bad and when I continue to think I’m my own enemy then I will continue to do bad too. If I continue to have that negative mindset than I won’t change, I won’t accept, I won’t learn, I won’t grow, I won’t stay obedient and faithful. I will be in the opposition of what The Father says and requires. And I don’t want to do that anymore…I don’t want to do it anymore…I don’t want to be my own worst enemy anymore.

A Preview of JUDGEMENT DAY

Alright folks, now I know I've been just giving small tidbits of my book. Bur now, I'm going to share with you the first 8 pages of it. And no it won't be giving away the whole book. This is just a tip of the iceberg and it get's better but hey I guess you'll have to get it and read on, but until then, enjoy!

"We all messed up
We all took a dive
We all got a ticket
For front seat of hell’s ride
We didn’t pass God’s test
We didn’t follow His commandments
And now He’s punishing us
And showing us no mercy
The human race has lost
We messed up our second chance
Now the human race
Is about to end
We’re all about to die
But not a quick or swift death
He’s going to make us suffer
Like we made Him suffer
Causing pain, tears, and heartache

Day turns to night
Blood stains the moon and sky
People run to their homes
To watch death go by
But they can’t hide
God knows every spot and place
To find the human race
He’s going to teach us a lesson
But harder than the first
And have a longer end
Are you ready for hell’s victory ride?

God starts out first
His wrath is fragile
And will hurt less
But still hurts all the same
He still loves His children
But has to teach once again

First He sends His angels
To smite out all evil
Then He sends down
Rain and plagues
To wipe out the second evil
And as He sends down the next wave
He stops it in a beat
He looks down at His work
That’s all too familiar with thee
Tears start to come from His eyes
As He viewed the rest of our kind
He starts to rethink
And might have a new strategy
He looked down at hell
And held His head high
“You can take your ride”
The devil looked up
With a cheesy grin on his face
“Well it’s about time”

God started to walk away
As the devil gave out a cry
And He didn’t stop to watch
As swords, spears, and knives
Fall from the sky

The devil hopped on his chariot
And rode up to earth
To his new home
And new playground
Ready to have, the time of his life

But up above
The moon, stars, and sky
God redoes His next test
He thought it through this time
It won’t be up to the human kind
To decide the fate
For all mankind
He made a new rule
Printed a new law
And He made sure
The news bounced off the walls
Now all He had to do
Was tell the little guy downstairs
He brought a handful of angels
To stand by his side
As they flew down to earth
To stop hell’s victory ride

The ground started to shake
As demons flew back
The devil looked around
And growled with anger
“What is going on here?”
The angels held off the rest
While God stood in front of the devil
“Your time is being shortened”
The devil laughed
“Ha, you had your time
Now it’s my time”
God didn’t smile
And didn’t budge an inch
“With this new way
You can have all the time in the world”
“What new way?”
God stood in the middle of the earth
“From now on,
Humans shall decide their fate
Good and evil will just guide them”
“You expect me to go along with this?”
God looked him in the eyes
“You have no choice”
“No!”
And the devil attacked God

They fought on the ground
And in the air
They rearranged the whole planet
God punched him
Then they stood face to face
“This is the new law
And it shall be followed”

The demons flew towards God
As the angels flew after them
“Let it be,” He said

Darkness washed over
Lightning came down
And rain flooded the earth
God made Himself and the devil one
As they flew up in the sky
Where they spanned and spanned

While in the air
Earth was being remade
Fire and light were separated
Good and evil were two different clouds
The beings flew up in the sky
Joining their rightful place

The cloud of fire
Went back to the depths below
As the cloud of light
Went up above

Earth was remade
Almost the best
Good and evil took their place
And guided their people

It was about that time again
To fight the good fight
But earth had to wait
Till three children were born

For thousands of years
They have waited
For their king and queen
But it just couldn’t be anybody
These beings were special
And had to pass and go through
Many tests
And overcome many trials

As suffering started
And war began
As hearts were broken
And tears were flowing
As people were fighting
And bodies were dying
Good and evil waited

The time is here
And the time is now
Are you ready to watch?
Are you ready to hear?
And are you ready to listen?

This is a story
You’ll never forget
So grab a chair
And let us begin"-JUDGEMENT DAY © 2012

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http://www.e-sentral.com/search/q/9781624885488; http://www.e-sentral.com/search/byid/5517

It's also available on Gardner's and Baker & Taylor if you have an account with them. 

P.S. My mother in law advised me that this part was confusing. Do you guys feel the same way? If so I apologize not my intention however it all will fall into place with a series I'm writing after it called THE AWAKENING SERIES.

All Writings Aside

As a writer, writing is how I let out my emotions my feelings, even prayers. I used to think that that was good enough and if not I could always read it back to the Heavenly Father. However now, that I'm older, a bit wiser, learning, and getting closer to him strengthening my relationship with him. I've come to see at least for me personally I've been cheating him, and not giving my all to him. Going to him first. And not only that but I've been cheating myself as well. Cheating myself out of the peace, joy, comfort, and happiness that he can give and provide when I unload confide and trust in him. And no longer can I use an excuse about not having the right words to say because the Ruach Qodesh-Holy Spirit will intercede for me and make my moaning and groaning understandable from me to Him. 
"Romans 8:26. At the same time the Spirit also helps us in our weakness, because we don't know how to pray for what we need. But the Spirit intercedes along with our groans that cannot be expressed in words. 27. The one who searches our hearts knows what the Spirit has in mind. The Spirit intercedes for God's people the way God wants him to."-The Names of God Bible, Ann Spangler.

So at least for me, no song, no story, and no poem can ever replace the time relationship and prayer of going to Abba-Father directly. And when I do, I've come to find out that whatever inspiration I get out of that or from it so much better. Thank you and peace joy maturity growth and love to you from our Heavenly Father through his son the Messiah and our Lord and Savior Yeshua-Jesus Christ..

Accountable Obedience

"1 King 13:11. An old prophet was living in Bethel. His sons told him everything the man of Elohim did in Bethel that day and the exact words he had spoken to the king. When they told their father, 12. he said to them, "Which road did he take? (His sons had seen which road the man of Elohim from Judah had taken.) 13. The old prophet told his sons, "Saddle the donkey for me." After they had saddled the donkey for him, he got on it. 14. He went after the man of Elohim and found him sitting under an oak tree. The old prophet asked him, "Are you the man of Elohim who came from Judah?" "Yes," he answered. 15. "Come home with me, and eat a meal," the old prophet replied. 16. The man of God said, "I'm not allowed to go back with you. I'm not allowed to eat or drink with you. 17. When Yahweh spoke to me, he told me not to eat or drink there or back on the road I took to get there." 18. The old prophet said, "I'm also a prophet, like you. An angel spoke the word of Yahweh to me. He said, 'Bring him home with you so that he may have something to eat and drink." (But the old prophet was lying.) 19. The man of God went back with him and ate and drank in his home. 20. When they were sitting at the table, Yahweh spoke his word to the old prophet who had brought back the man of Elohim. 21. Yahweh also called to the man of Elohim. He said, "This is what Yahweh says: You rebelled against the words from Yahweh's mouth and didn't obey the command that Yahweh your Elohim gave you. 22 You came back, ate, and drank at this place about which he told you, 'Don't eat or dink there.' That is why your dead body will not be allowed to be placed in the tomb of your ancestors." 23. After the old prophet had something to eat and drink, he saddled the donkey for the prophet whom he had brought back. 24. The man of Elohim left. A lion found him as he traveled on the road and killed him. His dead body was thrown on the road. The donkey and the lion were standing by the body. 25. People who passed by saw the body lying on the road and the lion standing by the body. They talked about it in the city where the old prophet was living." 26. When the old prophet who had brought the man of Elohim back from the road heard about it, he said, "It's the man of Elohim who rebelled against the words from Yahweh's mouth! Yahweh gave him tot he lion. It tore him to pieces and killed him as the word of Yahweh had told him."-The Names of God Bible, Ann Spangler

This passage brought me to stop reading and think. It made me think that we are held accountable for our obedience to the Heavenly Father. Even with this prophet, he was told, given specific instructions, directions, and commandments. Now he obeyed it when it came to the king at the time who asked him to come back in 1 Kings 13:7-10. But once another prophet or man of God came to say no don't listen to God because God said this to me regarding what you should do, he believed the old prophet instead of what God told him himself. Now I cannot fathom why the younger prophet believed the older. Was it because he was older, or was it because he said he was also a prophet and didn't think he would do something to harm him. But whatever the case may be the younger prophet should have stayed and continued to obey the Father. In my head I was thinking, if God did change his mind about him going back and to eat, drink with another prophet wouldn't he have told him that and advised/warned him of that ahead of time? And the answer to that is yes. The Father always gives specific instruction and details.

Now I knew this, but it didn't really click in my head until this past Tuesday on Bible Study, however it didn't stop me from making a silly decision while I was even saying or thinking to myself I know I'm going to be held accountable for this. But today, when I read this scripture, that is when it became life changing to me. I'm like even if a prophet of our Father dies from being disobedient than how so much he will do to me. It's just that important.

What I got from this is that I should obey listen and follow whatever the Father tells me to do, commands me to do, and instructs me to do, even if another believer, family, friend, elder, stranger or even somebody else tries to get me or want me to do the exact opposite. I must continue to obey my Father and trust that if there's something different that he wants me to do that he will tell me and let me know just as he let me know the first time. Because I am accountable for my actions, my choice, my obedience. And when the time comes for me to stand in front him and he asks me why didn't I do what he said. I have nobody to blame or point to but myself. So when it's my time and my turn for me to be held accountable for my actions I want to be able to say and to show that I was obedient to the Heavenly Father.


*Author's Note: The Bible Study I'm referring to is on on Tuesday and Friday nights 9EST/8CST and it's by phone so anyone anybody and everybody is welcome to join, listen. It's called Prayer Love Our Family Bible Study held by Bro. Edwards. If you would like to take a listen, learn, and experience what I did, please call, you're more than welcome to.  1- 605-475-6700 passcode 7556771#. And if you would like a sneak peak or something to get you started they are also recorded, so you can listen to past recordings at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/djsqwyd. And just once again click on the recordings title Prayer Love our Family Bible Study (with Bro/Minister/Pastor Nathaniel Edwards).*

Thank you.

My Evil

Have you ever prayed or asked the Heavenly Father for help to do something or guidance, and then throughout that day things happen, things or said to help you. Well that happened to me last night. I asked Abba-Father for help to quit something, and on my way to pick up my husband from work, this truck sped up to get in front of me, at first I was like come on are you serious, but then as I was looking at back of his window, this scripture was on it. "Romans 12:21. Be not overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good."-KJV. I was like wow, I know I know but I didn't adhere, because I was still trying to make excuses and justify what I was doing, which was buying some cigarettes, and that smoking isn't really considered evil in God's eyes and I came to a point that I would no longer use cigarettes as my idol or outlet, I just wanted to do it because I liked smoking.

Man well let me tell ya, today I got a sickening awakening, literally. Today I was telling myself that it would be my last day smoking at least for the month because my husband is getting some time off work, he doesn't like me smoking or the smell and I wanted to be considerate of his feelings. So my silly behind, before leaving, to pick up my mom, smoked two cigarettes instead of one because my thought was why wait till he gets off work, why not just quit now. I started to feel so sick as I smoked that second cigarette that I couldn't even finish. Driving to the trash I was like I forget cigarettes did this to me had this affect on me, and after throwing them away, I started vomiting. And I was like man, I can't do this, I don't want to do this, etc. While getting situated back inside the car, the Holy Spirit brought this scripture to my remembrance. "James  4:17. Therefore to him that knoweth to do good and doeth [it] not, to him it is sin."-KJV. And I was astounded, floored, like duh flabbergasted and so many other words that I'm unable to think of right now to describe how I felt. I was like I totally forget about that scripture. After that, while driving the sickness started to dissipate, the taste and craving of wanting one came back, and my mind started at it again but this time I began to repeat that scripture, I begin to pray and praise God, and in time my mind stopped, the battle won.

At times I get so frustrated with myself that I'm not able to remember scriptures like I want to or when I think that I need them. But today, Abba reminded me that His word is in me, and that in the times when He knows I truly need it and struggling, He will bring it to my mind and to my heart for me to use to battle strengthen and comfort myself with. Because when I do read His word, it's not lost and gone, just safely keep in storage for the appropriate time to be used for His purpose and will in my life, when He knows I'm ready, for me to do and be all and everything HE wants me to do and be.

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

Specifically Called and Willing

I don't know about you but there are a few books, chapters, and spots in the Bible that I dread to read, (however I was told if I just research the Hebraic meanings and everything I would understand why it is so, like their names and all that. Not there though, but I do keep that advice with me), like Leviticus, Numbers, and then a few chapters in Exodus. But it is in those chapters of Exodus that inspire me to write this today.

In Exodus 25-31 God gives Moses specific instructions on how to build The Tent of Meeting, what it is to look like, size, width, what's to be in it, the clothing for the priests etc. And then again in Exodus 35-40 it goes into exact detail again but this time it is regarding the making of it. So a quick break down in 35:10-20-22, the items needed were given by those who were willing and whose hearts moved them to. Then in 35:30-33 God chose Bezalel and filled him with the Ruach Elohim (the Spirit of God), making him high skilled, resourceful, and knowledgeable in all trades to do what needed to be done, and in 35:34 made Oholiab his assistant you can say the ability to teach others to do what needed to be done. And them along with every other craftsman God gave the necessary skill and talent to help as well.

Now this can also be tied into 1 Corinthians 12 regarding spiritual gifts.God has something for each of us to do, he has filled us and gifted us with various talents, skills, and gifts. Some may be the same and some may not. Some may be greater at it than others and some may not be. But the important thing is is that together we can do and accomplish all things God wants us to do. However it does require each of us to put our pride away, our greed, our selfishness, our shyness, our ignorance, and anything else that would hinder ourselves from doing God's work and being part of it. The question is are you willing to do what God wants and asks you to do with the specific gift, talent, and skill he has given to you, as well as aide others that God is using and has given them something to do as well where/when you can help. Because when you do, you're always in the most important spotlight of all. His.

Peace